On turning 36

Eat more legumes, wear blush on a rainy day

I think people are constantly surprised that I’m 36 because:

1. I take my skincare game seriously

2. I’m not afraid to be an adult-beginner (uni courses, languages, surfing, skating, snorkelling, belly dancing)

But I have lived those 30+ years, and sometimes they have been incredibly beautiful and sometimes they have been gut-wrenchingly difficult. So I thought I’d share some glimmers from it all.

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1. Give yourself some grace— despite all of the self-awareness, reflection & meditation- you are a human: messy, emotional & irrational.

2. If you are having a really hard time, seeking pharmaceutical help is ok, maybe even exactly what you need: even if you are a herbie girl.

3. Anger isn’t a bad emotion. And you need to feel & express it otherwise it will eat at you. Yell in the car, yell underwater, tell people to back-off when they overstep.

4. There is a certain kind of grief in some friendships in your mid-thirties when they have children, and you do not. Friends who are mothers can no longer prioritise the friendship, and it makes complete sense, but it can be a little heartbreaking too. Other friendships will flourish in the most supportive, expansive & joyous ways.

5. Find a partner who can hold your emotions. They don’t need to understand them, but they can hold them.

6. Learning who you are and being true to it, is a homecoming. People who own their differences are the most sparkly kind of people.

7. Try and get out and see the sunset & sunrise as much as possible. It will make you feel awe, arguable the most important human experience.

8. Booking a trip and getting out of your usual routine is the quickest way to upgrade your reality and shift your internal growth out. You aren’t caught up in to-dos and can just be!

9. Experiencing loss will make you a better person. On the other side of the muddy waters of grief, you will be able to feel connection more profoundly, love more deeply, and cherish your experience of life.

10. If you want things to change, you have to react/act differently. It can be terrifying to step into the unfamiliar, but loosen your grip a little and just see it as an experiment.

11. If you are feeling unwell and no amount of healthcare or medical intervention is working, something in your circumstances has to change (your relationship, your living environment, your job… I’m sorry, its true.)

12. Women’s bodies are a portal between the unseen & the seen (hello, the birth portal). Trust your intuition, see your body’s fluctuations as tides to the moon, be open to miracles.

13. Find a partner who wants to grow alongside you, communicates their needs & supports your dreams.

14. Learn to not be reactionary, you are allowed to take your time.

15. Astrology readings, psychic mediums, and tarot cards are all helpful tools, but your intuition is always stronger.

16. (Rapid fire) Eat more legumes, wear blush on a rainy day, wear compression socks on planes, invest in a mattress topper, go on solo hikes, swim in bodies of water, join the library, tell people you love them.

17. How to cook the perfect rice so you no longer think about buying a rice cooker (courtesy of my friend Sheena & her asian mum & aunts)

    • soak your rice in water for a few hours or rinse repeatedly until water isn’t as cloudy.

    • drain and put in saucepan, cover rice in water. The correct amount of water is measured by the height of your pinky tip. (the tip up to the first crease on your pinky).

    • Bring to boil & then simmer covered for 7 minutes

    • turn off the heat, keep covered and let steam cook the rest. (5 ish mins).

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S U N S E E D
On Beauty | Devotion | Spirit | Ritual
www.sunseedspace.com | @sunseed.space